bookbashuk Chapter 4201 A Guide to Wandering the Galaxy (8)
Chapter 4201 A Guide to Wandering the Galaxy (8)
Chapter 4201 A Guide to Wandering the Galaxy (Part 8)
The topic changed so quickly that Peter was taken aback. But after thinking about it seriously, he shook his head.
"Why?" Polaris asked.
“Wanda had a very clear goal: she wanted a perfect and warm family. Everything she did revolved around this goal. She wanted to find a lover, have several children, buy a house and a car, find a stable job, and come home from get off work every day to enjoy happy times with her family. She worked hard towards this goal and she succeeded.”
"what about me?"
“You? I don’t really know you,” Peter said. “You seem much more rebellious than she does. You’re not the kind of person who would like a stable life. You’re always on the go, it’s hard for you to stay in one place for long, you’re adventurous, and you try all sorts of new things.”
“I used to look down on Wanda’s pursuits,” Polaris said. “That kind of life was terrible. She was stuck in her family, taking care of her husband and children, and confining herself to a small house, while I should have the whole universe.”
After considering it for a moment, Peter said, "I'm more inclined to think that people spend their whole lives searching for a place where they can willingly stay. This place could be home, people, or a journey. It's just that everyone's pursuit is different."
“Yes, I used to think that I was the complete opposite of Wanda. But I suddenly realized that I am actually very similar to her, or rather, our father and the four of us siblings are very similar.”
“What do you mean?” Peter asked.
"I was momentarily surprised when Shockwave proposed to me. I realized that I was also dreaming of something, and then I realized that I was the same kind of person as them."
"who?"
“Our upbringing has been somewhat bumpy. Although my mother, my stepfather, and my biological father have all treated me fairly well, I have always found it difficult to have a stable family. We are all the same, so we have always been looking forward to such a family.”
"So you're saying you're willing?"
"No, I'm devastated. I don't want to spend the rest of my life making up for the shortcomings of the first half, that's why I'm so angry."
It was only then that Peter suddenly understood. He realized why Polaris was so conflicted.
There are two types of people in this world who react differently to hardship. One type develops a compensatory mentality after overcoming suffering. They feel, "I've suffered so much, I deserve to enjoy myself." They think, "I lacked the ability before, but now that I have, I naturally want to make up for it."
There is another type of person who chooses to let suffering go. They feel that the past is the past, and there is no need to be trapped in it. They should enjoy the present and focus on the future, instead of being held back by certain memories of the past.
In reality, it's hard to say which is better or worse. The former's compensatory mentality may lead to overcompensation, such as buying a lot of toys that were unaffordable as a child but never actually playing with them, or habitually eating snacks and drinking beverages, which are of no health benefit whatsoever.
However, to some extent, this kind of compensation is beneficial to mental health. They can find happiness through this compensation, heal their past traumas, and gradually improve their protective mechanisms until the day they completely move on.
While the latter approach avoids the risk of overcompensation and seems like a very magnanimous attitude towards life, it's still similar to physical trauma. Some minor wounds can indeed heal on their own, but extremely serious injuries, such as open surgery or comminuted fractures, can be fatal if left untreated. This often manifests on a psychological level; many people neglect this, constantly telling themselves "it will all pass," leading to a worsening of the condition and ultimately causing it to fester from within.
Now, this is the situation with Polaris. She doesn't think she needs compensation like Wanda did; she think she's let the past be the past. But one day, she suddenly realizes that she hasn't.
The wound was still there, and it had festered badly. She needed treatment, she needed compensation, but none of that was on her to-do list. She didn't want to live like this. Her emotional needs clashed with her life's aspirations, and so she broke down.
Peter finally understood why Polaris had maliciously assumed he was a chauvinist, such as suspecting he had set up a secret base to escape family life, or that he had told his wife about the base just to get her to do housework. It was because Polaris was terrified of these things; fear always makes people sharp.
Even if Peter's married life is happy, he must admit that this fear is justified. Because many people are unhappy in their marriages, and too many people exert excessive control in their families, turning the home into a complete constraint, almost like a prison.
For Polaris, who has always pursued freedom, this is the scenario she fears most. Although she may know deep down that the person proposing to her is not that kind of person, from Polaris's perspective, the thought of someone trying to drag her into such a prison is terrifying enough.
"Aren't you at all envious of your sisters' lives?" Peter asked tentatively.
Polaris glanced at him, then shook her head and said, "Don't you think this is absurd? I said I don't envy her, but then I also said that we might be a lot alike. I know it's contradictory, but if it weren't for this contradiction, I wouldn't be feeling so bad."
Peter understood again. Perhaps, Polaris was struggling with her inner conflict. Her reason told her that she didn't need a family, that she wanted freedom, that she wanted to explore the universe, but deep inside, certain unhealed wounds were emotionally binding her, demanding that she envy this kind of family life to make up for her past unhappiness.
The reason Polaris can give him a negative answer now is because she still retains her rationality. When reason prevails, she won't change her plans for life. But when emotions prevail, that's a different story.
Peter gasped; this level of difficulty was still far too challenging for him. He had learned a thing or two from living with Dr. Schiller, but he wasn't a professional psychologist. He couldn't imagine how a professional psychologist would handle it.
Are you wondering why I don't see a therapist?
Peter nodded and asked, "What are your concerns?"
Do you think Schiller went through such a phase?
"what?"
"He's single, right? And he seems to enjoy being single. Has he ever faced the dilemma of actively deciding whether or not to start a family?"
“This…” Peter hesitated for a moment. “We thought the doctor had a previous marriage, but it turned out to be a mistake. He also made it clear that he was mentally ill and that starting a family and raising children were not part of his plans.”
“That’s why I’m not going to look for him.” Polaris had almost finished her drink, and she was clearly in a state of collapse. She said, “There’s a voice in my head telling me to go find married people, to go find people with happy marriages, to see their families, that they’re not as unhappy as I think. I should muster up my courage. I think there might be some truth to that, look at you…”
“Wait!” Peter quickly stopped him. “I’m an exception. Or rather, everyone you can find who has a happy marriage is an exception. You shouldn’t make such a hasty decision. Shall we go see Dr. Schiller?”
"Your married life is so happy, why don't you encourage me to get married?"
Peter opened his mouth, then fell silent for a moment. He and Gwen were doing well, but the better their marriage went, the more he realized that if any one aspect went wrong, if either of them had a flaw, or even if they were just unlucky, they could end up having a terrible time. There were just too many things that needed to be just right.
If Peter were to describe it, a happy marriage is like the perfect crime in probabilistics. Everything has to be just right; if even the slightest thing is off, it could all be ruined.
Unfortunately, only those in happy marriages realize this. Because those in unhappy marriages don't even have the energy to think about such issues.
This is why many people, even those in unhappy marriages, still pressure others to get married. Some may be doing this intentionally, but more often, they simply lack the energy to distinguish right from wrong. Conversely, family members of many happily married couples will advise you to be cautious, because they have navigated a smooth path to where they are today and have the strength to recognize the pitfalls they nearly fell into and how dangerous they were.
Polaris fell silent. Peter considered whether to try to persuade him again, but just then, someone walked in through the bar entrance, causing some commotion.
Arkham Knight removed his mask, slammed his gun on the bar, walked over, shook hands with Peter, and said, "It's nice to meet you, Spider-Man. And you, Polaris, it's good to see you again."
Polaris completely ignored him. The Arkham Knight frowned, glanced at Peter, and said, "What's wrong with her? Has she had too much to drink?"
“It can’t be explained in a few words,” Peter said, pulling the Arkham Knight aside. “It’s urgent, so I’ll get straight to the point. We have one last spot left in our group, and you’re welcome to join if you wish, but I might need to take her to see a doctor right now…”
The Knight of Arkham stared wide-eyed in surprise and said, "See a doctor? What's wrong with her? Good heavens, she could be lively and chattering in my ear for hours after losing her body, and now she's sick?"
"It's a psychological issue, and it's difficult for me to explain it to you..."
The Arkham Knight's expression immediately turned serious, and he asked, "What's the problem?"
"It's something like psychological trauma. Never mind, I can't explain it to you, I have to hurry..."
The Arkham Knight stopped him, saying, "Look at the time! What hospital is still open? You don't want to take her to the ER, do you? Are you sure she can afford the bill?"
Peter was about to say he was going to see Dr. Schiller, but then he thought it was indeed a bit too late. Dr. Schiller was very busy lately, and disturbing him in the middle of the night might affect his rest.
"Tell me what happened, maybe I have a solution?"
Peter sighed and, to keep it brief, summarized Polaris's dilemma for the Arkham Knight.
“I see,” the Knight of Arkham said thoughtfully. “Alright, let me speak with her.”
(End of this chapter)