bookbashuk Chapter 56 The Meaning of a Diary, The True Self
Chapter 56 The Meaning of a Diary, The True Self
After apologizing to the Scarlet Wizard, Loon returned to his desk in the meditation room, took out paper and pen, and began writing in his wizard's diary.
In my memory, the hazy mist dissipated.
The vague memories then became vivid.
"So that's what I was thinking back then."
Luo Ang was retrieving memories from his mind.
He did not write down the events of each day.
Instead, they follow their own memories, feel the emotional fluctuations from the past, and record those emotional moments.
From the initial excitement of leaving home to the subsequent listlessness on the way.
Then came the curiosity and excitement of successfully entering the Wizard's Tower.
And the fear that follows the discovery of the truth.
There's also the ever-shifting emotion between fear and acceptance.
"Oh, so that's how it is."
During his three years in the lighthouse, all the changes in his emotions were vividly analyzed through his memories and his pen.
All fear, all cowardice, all petty thoughts, have nowhere to hide.
Loen finally put down his pen after writing more than thirty entries in the Beacon of Prosperity.
It was only then that he realized that what had sustained him through three years in the beacon of prosperity was not courage at all.
It is not a fear of death, but a fear of death.
"So, all along, I've been afraid of death!" Looking at the diary in his hand, at the diary that was so cruel, Luo Ang remained silent for a long time before finally sighing.
No wonder the spell that suits him best is hiding in the clouds rather than other spells—it's not just a resonance from the soul totem.
It stemmed from his instinctive resonance.
Of the few spells left behind by the old man, hiding in the clouds and mist is the most suitable spell for saving one's life!
"So, I'm actually this afraid of dying!"
Because Loon had died once, he had an immense fear of death, so his obedience in the wizard tower was what fooled the old man—because it wasn't an illusion after all!
That was because Loen was genuinely frightened.
During his time as a prisoner in the lighthouse, he, as the material being tested, repeatedly considered whether or not he should accept his fate.
No, it's not about whether or not to accept one's fate—it's that at that time, I had already accepted my fate to some extent.
He was hoping that he would be of enough value to the old man, and that the old man would not kill him.
Therefore, the old wizard had no suspicion of him and no defenses against him.
Similarly, his fear of death and distrust of the old man led him to seek the power to fight back from within his bloodline, while concealing this power.
"So, this is the real me!" Luo Ang closed his eyes.
While writing this diary, he repeatedly tried to subtly 'involve' his thoughts within it.
But in the end, he chose to confront his true self in that diary.
"No matter what, even if you knew from the beginning that the diary would become less and less authentic as it went on, at least the beginning of the diary should have been more authentic."
After an unknown amount of time, Luo Ang finally opened his eyes.
Then, Loen continued taking notes.
Until it was recorded before my eyes—that is, when the possibility of immortality truly appeared before my eyes, dispelling all the ambiguity.
An incredibly relaxed feeling arose within Luo Ang.
It was as if the soul had taken a bath.
All hesitation, all confusion, all anxiety vanished.
Finally, Luo Ang calmed his mind and began to meditate.
The effects of this meditation were exceptionally good!
During the meditation, Luo Ang could even feel the endless mystery falling on him like rain.
When the meditation ended, Luo Ang was shocked to find that the eleventh circle below the tenth circle of the pair of soul and body seeds had already been half revealed!
half!
In terms of quantitative data, after analyzing himself in the form of a diary, Luo Ang's mental strength increased by nearly 0.5 during this meditation.
What does this mean?
From the time he became a second-class wizard until this time, for more than two months, even while searching for treasure, Luo Ang never slacked off in meditation... but in those two months, Luo Ang's own mental strength increased by less than 0.1.
"No wonder wizard's diaries are so important to wizards!"
At this moment, Luo Ang truly experienced the benefits of writing a diary.
Writing a diary once increased mental strength by 0.5 points—if he wrote a diary ten times, wouldn't he be able to directly attempt to break through to the third-level wizard apprentice level?
After such thoughts swirled in his mind for a moment, Luo Ang couldn't help but chuckle.
There's no such thing as a free lunch.
—The sudden increase in my mental strength this time is less due to the effect of writing a diary and more due to the benefits of confronting my true self in the diary.
Of course, without the process of writing a diary, Luo Ang would not have been able to face his true self.
Writing a diary is a simple thing—but to Loon at this moment, writing a diary seemed to have become a kind of ritual belonging to wizards.
Through this diary, I dispelled the 'inner demons' that were gradually entangling me, and rediscovered myself, which led to this rapid progress in my meditation.
If you want such a good thing to happen again, you'd have to rediscover yourself for some reason.
Sitting in the meditation room, as usual, he prepared the spell "Entangling with Grass and Trees" and stored it in the first temporary spell slot. Then, Luo Ang began to practice the "Boiling" spell, making hand gestures while stepping around the meditation room.
……
"Crimson Wizard, I'm planning to visit Orchid Wizard. Would you like to come along?"
Loen found the Crimson Wizard.
The Scarlet Wizard is drawing the 'Wizard Tower' she desires on a parchment scroll.
We just discussed moving yesterday, and now she's already sketching out her future wizard tower on paper.
"Visit the Orchid Wizard?" The Crimson Wizard put down his pen, his expression becoming hesitant.
Why?
Although the Orchid Wizard is a kind and good wizard—but a good wizard is still a wizard.
Not to mention, he was an extremely mysterious and powerful wizard!
The Scarlet Wizard instinctively felt a sense of unease about visiting her.
"Didn't you say that yourself?" Luo Ang raised his hand.
"The Orchid Wizard is a powerful wizard who has lived for two hundred years."
"Two hundred years!"
"How much did she witness during this long period of time?"
"What the Crimson Wizard and the Orchid Wizard witnessed was history, it was knowledge."
"Such a knowledgeable and powerful wizard, even if she only gives us a little guidance, it will be enough to save us from taking many detours!"
"Even if she doesn't necessarily want to give us pointers, sometimes her common-sense sayings are the lessons we only learn after we've suffered losses," Luo Ang said in a deep voice.
Luo Ang can say that he has firsthand experience with this!