Warhammer: I don't want to become a stinky can!

Page 758

"It's almost time! Go Go Go! Old Mo!"

He shoved and yelled at Mortalian to hurry up and gather in the hall. Hades wanted to see what the others were dressed up in, and Mortalian, who was working the night shift and was about to collapse, slowly walked out of the room with deep eyes.

Incidentally, Mortarian was wearing a deathly green short-sleeved surgical gown, a tight-fitting disposable blue surgical cap, his hair tucked into the cap, and a button pen clipped to his chest pocket.

Wow, man, you're dressed really well.

Angron’s voice came from behind the closed door. Hades pushed the door open and entered. Some Primarchs had already arrived. Hades saw Angron at a glance.

"Fuck."

This is Hades' first impression assessment.

Angron was wearing a huge orange frog costume. He took off the headpiece and held it in his arms, his forehead covered in sweat.

Opposite Anglong stood Robert Killman, impeccably dressed in a suit. Perhaps because Anglong's attire was too shocking, Killman nervously flicked the large mechanical watch on his wrist, clearly an expensive brand.

I researched the fashion in Guterra, and I think this is what people dressed for work back then?

Killman said somewhat uncertainly that he was too busy with official business to care about the event as much as his brothers, who were always out having fun.

But his meticulously styled blond hair, styled with hair gel, and his gleaming leather shoes—if Robert Guilliman were an ancient Terran, he would probably be a CEO who stepped out of a novel.

I chose middle-class finance professionals, and I don't think I have that option—

Guilliman's azure eyes suddenly caught sight of Hades. The Primarch smiled, then changed the subject.

I think I haven't strayed from the topic?

Killieman saw Hades' reaction. There was no referee more authoritative than Hades here. Hades nodded quickly and gave Killieman a thumbs up.

"The only oversight,"

Hades said seriously,

"I feel you belong to the upper class."

Killieman coughed awkwardly, while Angron laughed, leaning on the table behind him.

Guess what I am? Hades!

This truly stumped Hades. Was it a street vendor? Or a mascot attracting customers in front of a milk tea shop?

He shook his head, while Mortarian calmly stated his conjecture.

[A mutated, differently colored frog-like person.]

Angron let out a deafening laugh, slapping his thigh and bursting into wild laughter.

[I knew mine would be the hardest to guess—I'm the kindergarten teacher for the Halloween event!]

You can do that? Dude!

Hades spat out a mouthful of salt water. In the brief conversation, he had already gotten his hands on some food. Hades decided to devour the other desserts at the banquet before drinking the poisoned wine, otherwise he would be wasting the other treats.

【Child,】

Mortarian said calmly,

[I didn't expect the Lord of Red Sand to like children?]

He might be referring to... never mind.

Killieman muttered something under his breath, then coughed rather politely, picked up his goblet of golden liquor, and decided not to say another word.

Just then, the door was flung open again, and the moment Hades saw who it was, he spat out another mouthful of salted soda.

The visitors were Conrad and Corax, who were laughing loudly. Conrad was wearing a bright blue suit with black and white stripes on the back—yes, the standard set provided by the detention center.

As expected, Corax was dressed in a police uniform with a baton at his waist. Hades thought that if Conrad got drunk or caused trouble while sober, the baton at Corax's waist would become a wonderful tool to be used.

No, buddy?

The Night Twins are really good at creating drama.

Hades laughed so hard it looked like he was coughing, he was right about Guilliman. The other Primarchs then unleashed their unconventional thinking and pulled off some hilarious antics.

Mortarian didn't get Hades' joke. He just frowned and stared at Conrad rushing toward the food table. A cold glint appeared in the Primarch's hand, and a scalpel appeared—if Conrad suddenly rushed over, he wouldn't mind slashing him.

Before Hades could wipe away the tears of laughter from the corners of his eyes, the other Primarchs arrived late.

Vulcan, a worker at a metallurgical plant (who adopted stray dogs and cats from a nearby construction site); Magnus, a university counselor (who would let out a sharp crack when his students sent him nasty messages late at night, and was in a state of "promotion or departure"); Luo Jia, a missionary carrying a basket of eggs (I come from Zhumadian); Finus Manus, a research programmer (who is slightly similar to Hades, but Hades is sure he is the more miserable ox or horse); and Fugen, a florist (who has a serene and secluded demeanor).

The room suddenly became noisy. Angron, the orange frog chasing Koz from the detention center, was chasing Koz, who was screaming in fright at Angron's sensory abilities. Hades was eating and drinking to his heart's content. Mortalian, a resident student who was talking about psionic powers with his university counselor Magnus, was sneering. Meanwhile, Finus and Fugan were having a quiet private time in a corner.

Of course, the heavyweights are yet to come.

The door opened again, and almost everyone had arrived; it could only be Saint Gilles or Neos's group. The Primarchs glanced over instinctively and saw them—

"Cough! Cough-cough-cough!"

Hades took a bite—this time he had steak in his mouth—and Hades resisted.

Sanguiles the Tramp and Horus.

"Fuck."

Hades once again expressed his disbelief at their lack of knowledge. Saint Gilles and Horus were dressed like social outcasts, in tattered, gray-white clothes, with tangled strands of hair, and carrying satchels—and more importantly, CDs strapped to their backs for nighttime reflection.

Saint Gilles' wings were roughly bound together by the angel with hemp rope and plastic rope. Under the angel's manipulation, the wings became extremely weak, looking as if they had collapsed due to long-term lack of blood. He hid the wings behind his back.

If other civilians saw it, they would probably react with a sharp, explosive sound.

Guilliman was the first to go forward, though his attire was somewhat awkward compared to that of Saint Gilles Horus and the other two, but Guilliman did not show any impatience on his face—Guilliman himself did not show any disgust.

He gave Sanguiles a hug and a warm smile, ignoring Horus's glare.

While Horus accepted Guilliman's rise to power, he was not entirely at ease with it. However, he spoke frankly about this and did not hide his feelings of sadness.

Welcome back! How was your trip?

Saint Gilles and Horus went on an expedition to Terra, which was also a perk that Guilliman gave them.

Great, we went to see the sunset and sunrise in Bal.

Saint Gilles smiled, and even though he was dressed slovenly, his smile was still genuine. Hades pondered this and finally understood what Saint Gilles and Horus's 3k package was.

"Poor travelers who become marginalized and at the bottom of society because of their disability or paranoia."

This is hell.

Hades stopped himself, coughed, and continued to reach for the desserts at the far end of the table. Fortunately, apart from Hades and Sangilius themselves, the other Primarchs were probably unaware of what the two were cosplaying as. It was just a costume dinner, so people were still arguing about their affairs in Terra or the Legion.

----------

"Uh……"

Hades stroked his chin, staring at the small Hades chess piece in a school uniform on the table.

"I'm going to spend 10 points to get one-on-one tutoring in Chinese."

Hades slapped ten pieces at Vulcan.

[Okay, you will be unable to act for the next three rounds. In return, your Language Intelligence will increase by 5 points each round. You can also choose to skip class and start a new round of actions.]

KP Vulcan was correspondingly writing and drawing on his own little blackboard. As a pastime, they were currently playing a 3K tabletop RPG, "[Miserable Life]".

Vulcan looked at Mortarian, signaling him to begin his turn.

【I'll also try one-on-one.】

Mortarian chose to follow Hades directly. Vulcan frowned and glanced at the data.

Sorry, my brother, you don't have enough money—you just bought a microscope and some gray medicine in the last round.

【*】

Mortarian uttered an interjection, glanced at Hades, and reached out to touch Hades's secret stash.

[Pay up.]

"Huh?! Huh! No money! Get out!"

Hades kicked Mortarian away, and Death stopped, staring at Hades with a resentful look. Then, he began a second attempt, unwilling to give up.

If this were reality, Hades would pay up, but this is a game—Motalion, get out of here!!!

Skip them both! Skip Mortarian!

Conrad protested, Vulcan glanced hesitantly at Mortalian, Hades kicked Mortalian in the stomach, clutched his "money" tightly and looked into the distance, while Mortalian stretched his neck and hands to reach for it, seemingly determined not to give up until he got it.

【All right?】

Vulcan blinked, seemingly more concerned with getting the gold coins from Hades than with winning or losing the game. Mortarian's competitive spirit was already burning, and the two looked like they were about to tumble off the table and start a ground fight over it.

[So, Conrad, you knocked out a homeless man who was bullying students with a brick in public, and then fled the scene. Now you're cornered in an alley by the police who arrived later. What do you choose: to go out and confess, or...?]

Go out and be honest.

Corax tugged at Conrad and said to Batman, "He's the student who got cornered by those thugs last time."

I just confessed to the police. As long as you confess, you will be ruled in self-defense.

It seems like only Corax is really getting into the game here.

A sly smile crept across Conrad's lips as he darted his dark eyes around.

【No,】

He said crisply, made a face, and pointed to the map.

There was a telephone pole there, so I chose to climb it to escape.

Well,

Vulcan paused, then glanced hesitantly at Corax.

Okay, you chose to climb the telephone pole to try and escape the dead end. Because of your previous actions, you now have 75 climbing points. Now, roll a die. If the number is greater than 25, then you have successfully escaped.

Conrad laughed loudly. The maximum score is 100. Isn't this an easy task?

He casually tossed the dice, and then—all four 25-sided dice showed a 1.

【well……】

Corax covered his eyes and sighed.

In the background, Mortarion has already been kicked to the ground by Hades. Death, not to be outdone, also pulls Hades down and tries to snatch the gold coin from Hades' raised right hand. Hades then headbutts Mortarion with a sharp "thud!"

"You still need to train! In jail!"

Hades shouted to the dizzy Mortari.

[A major failure]

Vulcan said, looking at the chessboard.

You climbed up, but because the utility pole was leaking electricity, you were electrocuted and fell to the ground amidst the watchful eyes of all the police. You suffered a broken leg and fell into a coma, unable to move on your own for the next five rounds.

【Aaaaaaahh ...

Conrad let out a shriek, and Corax was about to stop him when the door was opened again.

"?"

Hades suddenly felt that the hall was too quiet, even Mortarian, who had been struggling and writhing on the ground trying to snatch the gold coins from his hand, had stopped.

So Hades pressed his head against the ground and looked towards the doorway. In his upside-down world, he saw—

"What the hell?!!!"

"What's wrong? My children, didn't you have fun tonight?"

Neos raised a slender eyebrow and reached out to brush her long, wavy, brown-black hair that reached her hips. She was wearing a more relaxed version of her usual white robe, which made it look more like a cheongsam or a formal dress, with a dark gold belt around her waist.

Her gold-plated, red-soled high heels made her look like an empress—well, she was an empress after all.

His healthy, slightly dark brown skin and faint muscle definition were becoming apparent with each of Neos's movements.

The fiery red hue on the Emperor's lips was a perfect makeup look. Hades could see the shimmering gold glitter at the corners of the Emperor's eyes and the provocative black eyeliner.

And those eyes, those damned eyes that would make people pause in surprise whenever they saw the male version of him.

Those captivating eyes were now surveying the stunned Primarchs with a half-smile.

Boom!

The sound of a scepter striking the heavy carpet pulled Hades back to his senses. Neos pursed his lips in displeasure and looked behind her.