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...Do humans want humans?
Yanming might have thought this was absurd in the past, but now, after meeting Gao Songdeng, this confused girl, he finally understands this idea a little better.
The lamp doesn't want to become human; what she truly wants is to "understand humanity."
Because she is human, but she has never understood herself and the people around her, she has the idea that "I am different from them". But in reality... that is just a cognitive error caused by a lack of communication.
Yanming's impression of the lamp, however, has remained unchanged from beginning to end.
Not a "penguin that wants to become human".
Instead, she was described as "a troubled girl who resembles a penguin."
On this bizarre planet, the existence of "Takamatsu Lamp" may be special, but in reality, it is not "that" special.
She has never truly separated herself from the human community; she has only ever hovered on the edge, too afraid to step forward because of her personality.
At times like these, someone has to lend her a hand and help her integrate into the human community. That person was Xiangzi, who invited Deng to join Crychic.
So now, "that person" could of course also be Yanming.
"The band... to be more specific, which band is it? Is it Crychic, or 'Dysis'?"
The lamp recalled the decisions it had made so far, and then replied, "...all of them."
Both bands gave her different feelings.
Since joining a band and expressing his inner thoughts through lyrics on the live stage, Deng is no longer the withdrawn child he used to be.
Right now, she wants to sing, she really... really wants to.
She wanted to sing to the many confused audience members below the stage, to tell everyone that even a coward like her, who was utterly useless, could become a true human being.
She also wanted to sing for the bandmates she had played with behind her.
Not just Crychic, but also everyone at Dysis.
She has very few skills and possessions; her singing voice is one of the few abilities she is somewhat confident in.
But now, she hasn't picked up a microphone for two whole months... and the members of both bands haven't been able to get together to play for a long time either.
She fantasized countless times about becoming a worm curled up in the mud, using this to numb her inner desire to scream.
But now, after meeting everyone again today, this desire is impossible to suppress... It's like a ten-centimeter-long steel needle piercing straight through the frontal lobe from the gap in the skull. As reason declines, desire rises to its highest point.
Deng clenched his fists nervously and said, "Mr. Yanming... I still want to play in a band, and I still want to sing..."
I understand how you feel.
Yanming answered quickly and calmly, "Because I want to too."
"That……"
"But Xiaodeng, you need to know one thing: not everyone's situation is the same as ours."
Yanming's words shattered Deng's momentum, "We not only need to consider ourselves, but also the emotions and situations of our companions, such as... Xiaoxiang."
"..."
The light fell silent.
Xiao Xiang still has no idea why she left Crychic, and she can't figure it out at all.
But from their interactions afterward, it's clear that Xiao Xiang wasn't tired of them or didn't want to continue playing in the band. Xiao Xiang was still the same Xiao Xiang, cherishing his companions, proud and enthusiastic.
There must be a deeper reason why the band chose to end their activities... Mr. Yanming must know, but since he didn't tell me on Xiaoxiang's behalf, he must have his reasons.
"Is Xiao Xiang no longer able to play in a band? ...Whether it's Crychic or Dysis?"
Yanming shook his head, denying this statement: "In her current condition, she can no longer play as easily as you used to. Once she picks up the keyboard, Xiaoxiang will have to consider many things. I think that rather than finding it troublesome, she is probably more worried about affecting you. Rather than being hesitant, she would rather use a more forceful and indifferent attitude to disappoint you."
However, in the end, the plan was still exposed. Although the result was still the same, Crychci still became the shadow of the past as she had wished.
"I see... I understand."
"Ah."
Yanming ruffled her hair, trying to lighten her mood. "However... even though Xiaoxiang can't be with you anymore, we can still consider forming a new band. If you need any help, just let me know."
"Forming a new band?!"
The lamp froze. "But Mr. Yanming, don't we already have a band? Isn't this strange...?"
She just wanted to play with everyone again; she hadn't even considered a new band or anything like that.
Chapter 117: Lost in the Stars.
"?"
Yanming looked at her suspiciously, "Xiaodeng, are you demonizing the whole thing about forming a band?"
It's just about forming a band of four people, not getting married to four people at the same time. Theoretically speaking, it's perfectly normal for one person to hold positions in several bands simultaneously. There's nothing wrong with it at all. It's really strange to think that's odd.
"Is...is that so?"
Deng imagined it in her mind for a moment, no... it seemed she didn't need to imagine it. She had already created a new band with Yanming before Crychic completely died out. Although it was only temporary and the process was very casual, a band is a band...
"Well!"
Deng groaned and bent over, pressing his hand to his chest.
"What?"
Yanming was terrified. "Xiaodeng, what's wrong?"
"A sense of immorality...suddenly...so strong..."
"???"
How can a little kid like you have any sense of immorality?
A few seconds later, Deng exhaled, straightened up, and said between breaths, "But thinking about it carefully... I feel like this is actually quite good..."
Then, Deng asked again, "Mr. Yanming... is it really possible for one person to have several bands at the same time?"
Yanming explained in detail: "Generally speaking, such people in the industry are called 'mercenaries'. They don't have a fixed team, but instead travel between several or even dozens of different bands to provide support. That situation is rare, but people who have participated in the activities of several bands at the same time are actually not uncommon."
Not everyone sees a band as their home, a means of entertainment, a way to make money, or a way to increase their attractiveness. In fact, the vast majority of people view bands in this way.
"So forming a band doesn't mean you're tied to your bandmates like you're married. Going on business trips is perfectly normal and has absolutely nothing to do with cheating! Don't feel any strange sense of immorality!"
"Ah..."
Deng's perception of the band was slightly overturned by what he said today.
"Got it? Don't think about all that nonsense. For people like us, having fun in a band is the most important thing. Even if others have other ideas, it's not shameful, because everyone's ultimate goal is just to play together."
Yanming patiently tried to calm Deng down, attempting to ease his mind somewhat, as the mention of the band made him feel heavy-hearted.
"but……"
"No buts."
Yanming interrupted her, "Deng is confused, right? It's because neither of the two bands you have can support you to do live performances that you've stagnated, not because you can't find a way forward. Xiaodeng, you actually know very well what you plan to do next—that is to sing, right?"
"...Yes, Mr. Yanming, I want to sing, I really want to..."
"So, joining a new band, or forming a new one, is the simplest and quickest way."
Yanming hit the nail on the head, "Isn't this the best opportunity right now? Apart from Xiaoxiang, the other members of Crychic are still in a state of disbandment and have nowhere to go. Xiaodeng, you can totally invite them to form a team again."
"Is it really possible?"
"Of course you can, but there's no need to rush. You'll be starting school in a few days, right? High school life takes time to adjust. You can wait until things settle down before trying to invite them one by one."
Wang Yanming continued to offer suggestions, but he only made such a suggestion after taking everyone's feelings into account.
We've already moved on, and Crychic isn't a shadow that can't be touched anymore, so in that case...
Why not prove it?
As for whether Xiao Xiang would think that doing this meant that others were abandoning her... if it were the Xiao Xiang from before, she probably would have.
But if she still has such hesitant thoughts after their final live performance, then Teacher Da Xiang should really sit at the same table as Su Shi.
Even if they no longer perform as a band, they can still be 'Crychic'.
The fact that five of them can come out to the zoo together for a team-building activity like today, doesn't that say something?
The bond between girls exists in their hearts and in every little thing.
But not in the band.
"Xiao Deng, you said you're like a Gentoo penguin lost in the snowstorm, but I don't think so..."
"If a lamp must compare itself to something, why can't it imagine itself as a star?"
“A star that is ‘lost’.”
……Star?
“Mr. Yanming, I simply don’t…”
"To put it bluntly, the stars are just stones hanging in the sky. Compared to the stones collected by the lamp, they only glow at night."
If a penguin is tiny compared to a planet, then a star is even smaller compared to the entire night sky.
However, the two are not the same.
"Whether it's a planet or a star, whether it's borrowed light or its own, every star is trying to illuminate something."
"Compared to the clumsy-looking penguin, I think the little lamp that can sing like that is more like a twinkling object from outer space, a little star sent to us by the universe."
"Although the light is faint and always appears and disappears, its core remains unchanged."
"You're the lead singer for both of our bands, Lamp."
"Don't underestimate Xiao Xiang and my judgment."
Yanming grabbed Deng's tightly clenched fist and gently peeled her fingers away from her palm, one by one, until she was completely relaxed. Then he encouraged her, "Whether it's a star or a penguin, you don't need to worry about it, because you still have..."
"Gah—cluck cluck cluck cluck—"
In the distance, two penguins with similar black and white markings appeared, calling out incessantly. The penguins closer to the two responded with quacks and then quickly glided towards their companion.
Yanming stopped what he was about to say and turned to Deng, asking, "Deng, what are those two penguins saying?"
"...It's time for the penguins to change shifts. They're calling to the other penguins not to work overtime and to hurry home to eat fish."
The lamp answered, then seemed to immediately realize something, though it wasn't quite sure yet.
"Isn't that interesting?"
Yanming watched the penguin glide smoothly across the ice on its belly, then glanced discreetly at Deng's flat stomach. He shook his head, dismissing the unrealistic thought, and asked in a low voice:
"Did you hear any other sounds?"
"No……"
"I wasn't talking about penguins."
"……Eh?"
Not far away, a figure with sky-blue hair was waving at the two of them.
"Xiaodeng—, Yanming—hurry up and catch up!"
It seemed that the two of them had fallen a little behind the others, but Xiangzi quickly noticed it.
"Did you hear that?"
"Um……"
"Let's go together, keep up with them."
"Yes! Mr. Yanming..."
The lamp remained hesitant.
He grasped the hand that was offered to him.
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