I want to just drift through life in Type-Moon.

Page 148

"Obtaining Alaya is a contract of exchange, granting [miracles] to those who lament their powerlessness, temporarily shaping that person into a hero. As long as that person [contributes to the continuation of humanity], it will grant them unlimited magic and opportunities, using them as tools to maintain human history. In return, it will take away the soul that temporarily becomes a heroic spirit after death. That is, the [completion of the soul] that will not be redeemed after death."

"Do you understand, Kiritsugu Emiya? If you keep chasing after this, one day you'll face a situation where you're powerless, and then you'll reach for the power of restraint. In the end, even after death, you'll have to keep witnessing hell, endlessly killing, killing, killing, killing, until the destruction of humanity or the world. If you hadn't met your wife, you would probably have ended up as this tool."

Chapter 329 Returning to the Script (Part 1)

Kiritsugu Emiya felt a little heavy-hearted. If it were the old him, upon hearing this ending, he shouldn't have rejected it because it would be useful to the world. However, now that he knows so much and has the ability to change this ending, does he really still want to go down this path?

"Kiritsugu, do you want to give up?" Irisviel looked at her husband, whose strength had faded, and felt a pang of heartache in his lost and bewildered eyes.

Knowing what his wife was planning, she guessed what would happen next. Sure enough, Irisviel released Ilya's small hand and gently hugged Kiritsugu from the front, making it clear that a display of affection was about to unfold.

Kiritsugu trembled upon hearing his wife's question.

In Irisviel's eyes, her husband's arms were always strong and reliable, but now her husband was as helpless as a child nestled in his mother's arms.

"I—I'm not afraid of that ending, but if it's for you and Ilya—"

Irisviel felt her husband hold her even tighter, to the point that it hurt. Just then, she heard her husband's faint questioning voice.

"If I decided right now to give up everything, what would you think? Would you be willing to be with Ilya, with our family—"

“You’re lying,” Irisviel pointed out, both gently and cruelly.

Alice could never have imagined that a man like Kiritsugu Emiya would ask such a question.

This question came so suddenly, and it could even be said that this was the life she had always dreamed of. However, she knew it was impossible. Just as the Servant said, a wife and daughter should not be involved in Kiritsugu Emiya's life.

Even if the path to becoming a "scavenger" is tragic, it may be the right path for this person.

The Holy Grail has been corrupted and can no longer fulfill his wishes. In other words, he wasted eight years of his life, making himself weak and hesitant. As a result, he received a "miracle" from his instincts. Instincts, in their pursuit of liberation from the choices of life, have once again fallen into the abyss.

There was no way out of this abyss. All he could do was pick up his gun again and walk deeper into the abyss until he reached the ending foretold by the servant.

Irisviel was in immense pain. The man she loved was suffering terribly, and she was powerless to help him. Because she was the one causing Kiritsugu such pain.

Originally, Kiritsugu Emiya had nothing to lose. He wouldn't even feel pain. It was precisely because Kiritsugu Emiya was that kind of man that he became exceptionally strong, pursued the lofty ideal of saving the world, and was willing to sacrifice everything for it without hesitation, becoming an incredibly ruthless warrior.

However, even though Kiritsugu wanted to go back to the past and be his former self, an irreconcilable conflict arose deep within his soul as he looked back on those years. Those eight years had completely changed Kiritsugu, and he had endured considerable pressure and pain simply to maintain his past cold and ruthless image.

“That’s impossible, Kiritsugu.” Irisviel smiled tenderly as she cupped the face of the man who had taught her to be human, a wife, and a mother.

“You will never forgive yourself for giving up your ideal of saving the world. Even if Ilya and I find happiness, you will still be the final judge and sentence yourself to death.”

Kiritsugu finally broke down in tears. He understood this himself. He had long since run out of options.

"I'm so scared." Kiritsugu cried as he poured out his heart like a child. "I'm so scared of losing you. I'm so scared that I'll die and never see Ilya again."

Kiritsugu Emiya was neither a hero nor a samurai, but an assassin. He lacked the courage and pride to compete with others for his life. He was a coward. Therefore, his goal was to carefully and cautiously secure victory and the right to survival with minimal risk. For a hunter, the greatest nightmare is becoming someone else's prey.

However, even so, if it were Kiritsugu from eight years ago, he wouldn't have even frowned, calmly and focused on thinking about the best countermeasure. That's what made Kiritsugu so formidable when he had no lover to lose. But now, fearing the loss of his lover, Kiritsugu faces battle once again, and that fear becomes his fatal weakness.

Kiritsugu has changed. He has become extremely vulnerable, having driven himself to such a state in order to achieve that cruel ideal. The key to Kiritsugu's change is none other than Irisviel.

"We won't blame you, Kiritsugu. Neither I nor Illya will blame you—because we both love you—" Even knowing that her love would make her beloved more and more vulnerable, Irisviel still loved Kiritsugu hopelessly, and even said out loud the speculations that she shouldn't have said.

"Kiritsugu, didn't the Winter Saintess say that the Holy Grail allows wishes to be made? Angra Mainyu has been eliminated, so you still have a chance—" These words, like a sweet poison, gently rang in Kiritsugu's ears.

Ling's eyes sharpened as she stared intently at Irisviel's retreating figure, her brows furrowed tightly.

An eerie atmosphere descended upon the amniotic fluid chamber. Even Ahad suddenly realized what was happening and said to Kiritsugu Emiya, "That's right! Kiritsugu! You can't give up on the Holy Grail War! We don't know the final outcome yet. If the Holy Grail appears normally, we still have a chance! I order you to participate in the Holy Grail War and win victory for Einzbern!"

Listening realized that things were getting a little off, or rather, Einzbern was never right in the first place.

Now, with Irisviel leading the way and Yubustakuhaid providing support, Kiritsugu Emiya's hope, which had been shattered by despair, was rekindled. "Indeed, how can we confirm the Holy Grail's situation without seeing it with our own eyes? That's right, if we continue to participate in the Holy Grail War, the Holy Grail that might appear is—"

The only one who seemed relatively normal was Ilya, who looked at her parents and grandfather with unease and a helpless expression.

Seeing this, Ling waved her over, but Ilya hesitated for a moment before shaking her head.

Although Ling felt exceptionally close to her, she still preferred to stay with her parents.

Adults must take responsibility for their choices, but children are different. Ling felt that the most innocent person in the entire Einzbern was Ilya. If she were just a homunculus like the other Einzbern, that would be fine, but she was the child of a human and a homunculus, and was born knowing what emotions were.

Chapter 330 Returning to the Script (Part 2)

Her father, Kiritsugu Emiya, lost everything for his ideals, and her mother, Irisviel, sacrificed everything for her father. As a result, the innocent Illya lost everyone she could rely on and ultimately lost her life in the Fifth Holy Grail War.

She had loved and been loved, but in the rest of her life, all that remained was hatred and pain, and she ended her life hastily.

"In the end, nothing changed? Is this the inertia of the world? Or—" Ling looked thoughtfully at Kiritsugu Emiya's increasingly hardened expression, as if the weak crying just now was an illusion.

Ling is now like an audience member in a play, watching a drama she has seen many times before being re-enacted. She was invited up as a special guest to participate in a scene and successfully steered the script in a different direction, but after she left the stage, the play continued according to the script. It's a great irony.

"Olga, you said things have returned to the so-called normal track. Is it because of the suppressive force just now, or because of something I don't know about?" Ling also looked at Olga next to her with a puzzled expression.

Olga didn't want to answer, but seeing the complete lack of relief in Ling's eyes, her innate maternal instincts kicked in. She bit her lower lip and finally spoke, "Although I'm not entirely sure, I don't think it's due to the suppression. After all, as long as you're here, the world—"

However, before she could finish speaking, a trickle of blood slid down the corner of her mouth. Seeing this, Ling immediately covered her mouth, saying, "Ah, I know, you don't have to force yourself to continue."

Although Ling didn't understand the workings between Gaia and the Star Maiden, based on the various speculations of humanity from her previous life, she could easily tell that Olga had been subjected to the so-called "divine punishment."

Ultimately, Olga was placed beside him as a watcher, meaning he could only watch but not speak. Now, Olga has clearly broken the taboo for her own sake.

The inhibitory force doesn't want to know certain things. If it finds the answer itself, that's fine, but the person who knows the truth must never reveal it to it, and even if it finds the answer, it cannot confirm it with anyone related to the inhibitory force.

He wouldn't thank Olga, because Olga didn't need his thanks. He wiped the blood from the corner of Olga's mouth with his thumb, then smeared it on his own lips, carefully memorizing the taste.

If before it was to punish Olga and satisfy his own appetite, then now he truly remembered Olga's taste, and his wariness and aversion towards Olga slowly disappeared.

Olga felt a warmth in her heart as she watched his gesture. Her efforts were beginning to be acknowledged, and this small recognition was exactly what she wanted.

When Ling looked at Kiritsugu Emiya again, Kiritsugu Emiya happened to look over as well. "If the Holy Grail is usable, I will not give it to you."

“Ignore—no, should I say you don’t want to admit it?” After hearing the resolution implied in Kiritsugu Emiya’s words, Rin didn’t react much, but looked at him with even more pity.

"I was going to use that information to make a deal with you before, with the goal of the Origin Bomb, but now it seems that after you wavered, you still trust your own judgment more. Well, that makes sense. As someone who killed his own father, his own adoptive mother, and even his wife and daughter for the sake of so-called justice, he won't believe me until he sees the final outcome, right?"

Kiritsugu Emiya was not swayed by Rin's words this time. "No matter what you say, I have decided to participate in this Holy Grail War."

"Even if what you get is disappointment or even despair?" Ling looked at Irisviel, because it was because of her that Kiritsugu Emiya might really have to experience that story.

"Yes, even if I lose it again, I will still make the same choice."

"Hell lies ahead," Ling offered her final piece of advice. "After you refused your childhood friend's last request and ended up witnessing the end of the Alima Islands, after seeing that hell, do you want to see it again?"

“Men, whether old or young, can often mature in an instant because they know they have made a mistake. Their hearts grow in that instant. Whether it is for self-satisfaction or self-redemption, I must seize this possible miracle with my own hands.” Kiritsugu Emiya rarely spoke so specifically about his plans. “Since the Holy Grail may have already been cleansed, then I absolutely cannot let go.”

Hearing this, Ling finally put away all her pity and revealed a calm smile. "I see. Since you have made this choice, I will not stop you. Then, enjoy your pathetic life that is distorted by that overly grand dream, Emiya Kiritsugu."

"No, I would also accept the kind of ending you described, so no matter what the outcome of the Holy Grail War is, I will take a different path—like the fate of the magician family, leaving hope for the next generation."

Kiritsugu gently stroked Illya's hair. "Can you tell me the rest? After all, our deal isn't over yet."

This request truly surprised Ling. He didn't know if Emiya Kiritsugu had finally figured it out or given up. In any case, he had to admit that Emiya Kiritsugu was very smart. The more information he knew about the future, the more initiative he had, and this also aligned with Ling's goals.

Now that Olga has told him that things have returned to normal and have nothing to do with the suppressor, the only one who can influence Jubstacheit and Irisviel is the father of the Homunculi—Golem Jubstacheit.

As a machine, when producing androids, the concepts of "Reproducing the Third Law" and "Saving All Mankind" were already written into all androids as a foundation. Now, because the terminal command group has been divided into two parts, Yustiza holds "Saving All Mankind" and Yubustakuhaid holds "Reproducing the Third Law".

These two programs, though separate, also influenced each other, causing logical confusion for the Father of Homunculi. Ultimately, he handed the decision over to Yubustakuhaid and Justessa. Irisviel, who was similar to Justessa, was influenced by both of their ideologies. Without the concept of "humanity," she would not have said anything. However, her husband's pain and confusion led her to reveal the information she had received from Justessa.

Using this intelligence, Yubustakuhaid acted in accordance with the core procedure of "Reappearance of the Third Law," prompting Kiritsugu Emiya to participate in the Holy Grail War.

This process was less a coincidence and more a result of everyone's wishful thinking. Kiritsugu Emiya didn't have to give up his last hope, and Yubusta Kuhaid had a chance to struggle and recreate the Third Law. The two hit it off, and things returned to normal.

Chapter 331 Further Plans (Part 1)

“I can continue telling you, but I’ll have to raise the price.” Ling looked at Little Ilya. Now that he had seen the tragedy of the future, he had to do what he had promised Old Sword back in the apocalyptic world. After all, he had felt his spiritual core trembling since just now.

"Why?" Kiritsugu Emiya looked at Rin, wondering why he suddenly showed this attitude. Just now he was constantly revealing information that Rin didn't need, but now that Rin needed it, he suddenly asked for a higher price.

"Because it's a seller's market right now, I'm not happy with you. Are you satisfied with this answer?" Even though he wanted to test how the world line would turn out after he influenced it, this did not prevent him from being dissatisfied with Kiritsugu Emiya's choice.

However, it was merely dissatisfaction rather than resentment. People are responsible for their own choices, whether the consequences are good or bad. From the beginning, Ling Cong did not feel that he had the right to make choices for others; at most, he was just offering a well-intentioned suggestion on a whim.

Since Kiritsugu Emiya has chosen a path to the bitter end, for Rin, Kiritsugu Emiya's participation in the Holy Grail War according to his own will is a fixed factor.

He was going back to Chaldea with Olga. Kiritsugu Emiya wanted to know whether the Holy Grail had been corrupted or not. This raised a very important question: if the Holy Grail was truly cleansed, would Kiritsugu Emiya ultimately choose to become their enemy? In other words, Kiritsugu Emiya was now a potential enemy.

If the Holy Grail is corrupted, that's fine, but if it isn't, then providing information now is aiding the enemy.

"I want all the remaining Origin Bullets you have, plus the method for making them. In return, I'll tell you about the three Holy Grail starters, Illya's original fate, and who your greatest enemy was in the Fourth Holy Grail War." Ling held up three fingers to Emiya Kiritsugu.

"Why not everything from the Fourth Holy Grail War?" Kiritsugu Emiya released his wife and daughter and took a few steps forward.

"Stop!" Ling looked at the other party warily. The current Kiritsugu Emiya has turned back into that magician killer, who will stop at nothing to achieve his goals. Although he is not afraid, he is not sure if he can protect Olga if she is targeted.

Rin is self-aware, knowing that he is a magician with maxed-out evasion, while Olga is a very orthodox turret-type magician. Against the assassin Kiritsugu Emiya, anything can happen.

Seeing Rin's wariness towards him, Kiritsugu Emiya felt a pang of regret. He had assumed Rin was a naturally good person, especially since he had shot her three times before, yet Rin hadn't seemed to pursue the matter. This had given Kiritsugu the illusion that Rin was a genuinely good person.

But from this test, he could tell that Ling was extremely wary of him, so he immediately stopped and stood there watching Ling and Olga, who were in a wary posture.

Although Olga couldn't get a word in edgewise during Ling's conversation, she hadn't let her guard down since Ling had told her to protect herself. Now, seeing his attitude so obvious, Olga raised her right hand, making a gun shape with her index finger and thumb, and successfully activated the magic crest.

Two halos appeared in front of and behind the fingertips, which then quickly contracted to form black magic bullets.

"Gandr, huh?" Kiritsugu Emiya looked at the magic that Olga was holding back with her fingertips. Gandr is a rune magic from the Norse tradition. Its effect is to reduce the target's physical mobility as a curse. If the magic density is high enough, it can also have the power of a bullet. Generally speaking, any talented magician will refine it to a minimum, making it a magic that combines power and speed.

Kiritsugu Emiya didn't take Olga's actions to heart. After all, this thing was about as powerful as a pistol, but slower than a pistol bullet. If he tried to avoid it, there was no chance of it hitting him. In short, it was completely posed no threat.

“It’s useless, Olga. Your Yin Qi Bullet can’t possibly hit him. Not to mention that his dynamic vision, honed from the battlefield, is more than enough to avoid it, even if your spell bullet is fast enough, he can accelerate his own time to dodge it.”

This was the first time that Kiritsugu Emiya had faced an opponent who knew his methods so well. Even though he had devised several plans in his mind, it now seemed that none of them had any chance of success.

"So, Olga, when facing someone like this, you should use area-of-effect magic to cover his surroundings before he can react. That way, even if he accelerates time, he won't have time to escape your attack range."

"I meant no harm," Kiritsugu Emiya said calmly.

"Heh, sorry, I don't believe a single punctuation mark of yours, because you're the kind of guy who uses self-imposed coercive evidence to play tricks and will stop at nothing to achieve your goals." Ling sneered, "As for the request I just made, do you agree or not? If not, then forget it, we'll go our separate ways."

“We agree.” It wasn’t Kiritsugu Emiya who answered, but Irisviel. She looked at Rin with a complicated expression. “If you don’t trust Kiritsugu, then I will sign a self-compulsion pledge with you, on the condition that Kiritsugu cannot break the contract, or I will die on the spot. After all, I cannot die before the Holy Grail War ends.”

Ling hadn't expected his wife to make such a proposal. After thinking about it for a moment, he realized that this was the best outcome. As she said, since Kiritsugu was going to participate in the Holy Grail War, his wife absolutely could not die before becoming the Holy Grail. On the one hand, if she lost Irisviel's "form," the Holy Grail would be exposed to all Masters. On the other hand, if Irisviel died now, the Holy Grail might be transplanted into Illya, which was unacceptable to Kiritsugu Emiya no matter what.

"Aili—" Kiritsugu called out in a reproachful tone.

"No need to say anything, Kiritsugu, this is the best option." Irisviel knew what Kiritsugu wanted to say, but just as Rin had said, the initiative was now in his hands, and Kiritsugu had no way to blackmail Rin.

To maintain this fragile balance, she had no choice but to step forward and break the deadlock. In fact, Irisviel didn't know if her actions were right or wrong. On one hand, she knew that she would definitely die in the next Holy Grail War, so she chose to do this. On the other hand, she felt that she was under some kind of spell and postponed this issue because the problem between Rin and Kiritsugu had not been resolved but was suppressed.

Chapter 332 Further Plans (Part 2)

Everyone present knew that if this problem wasn't handled properly, its severity would definitely escalate several levels if it were to erupt again.

“Madam’s suggestion is a good one, but—” Ling looked at the couple and already knew what they were thinking. He could agree to the suggestion, but the person signing the contract would have to be changed.

Upon hearing Ling's "but," Irisviel revealed a bitter expression, thinking: In the end, this Servant saw through my plans.

The conditions she just made will no longer be valid after her death, and since she is destined to die, Kiritsugu will have no binding force after she transforms into the Holy Grail.

“The person who signs this contract will be changed from your wife to Ilya, and what I need must be delivered within half a month.” Ling smiled as she looked at her wife.

“I know your plans, Madam. I don’t believe in people who are destined to die. There are only three people in this world that Kiritsugu Emiya cares about. You and the other woman are both prepared to give their lives for him, but Illya is not, does not need to be, and no one can force her to be. She is the only person who can restrain Kiritsugu Emiya in the future. So if we really have to sign a self-compulsion certificate, only Illya can sign it.”

As soon as Ling finished speaking, Kiritsugu Emiya's expression changed drastically. "No! I won't agree."

“Let me finish,” Ling glared at him unhappily. “I can guarantee Ilya’s safety and even solve her physical problems. This is my last act of mercy.”

This condition left Kiritsugu Emiya speechless for a long while before he finally asked, "What do you mean?"

"It means that even if you fail and die, I will help you protect Ilya. In my opinion, you are courting death by participating in the Holy Grail War, and your wife's death is inevitable. However, Ilya is innocent. Whether I am being merciful or just a lolicon, no matter what your fate is, I want to do something for Ilya."

Kiritsugu's expression showed some hesitation, but when he saw the bewildered look in his daughter's eyes, the scene of the first time he picked her up flashed through his mind.

A maddening compassion shattered all his plans in the blink of an eye—yes, he and his wife would leave first, and rather than leave Ilya alone in this cold castle, it would be better to entrust her to this person who seemed to know a lot.

The atmosphere in Einzbern had become quite strange. This was something that Kiritsugu Emiya had noticed after the appearance of the being called the Winter Saintess. The Holy Grail War had undergone some unknown changes, and under these circumstances, it was no longer safe for Illya to stay here alone.

"I promise you, but if you ever do anything to harm Illya in the future, I will kill you even if I become a vengeful ghost." Kiritsugu Emiya's declaration sounded rather unfriendly, and Rin's heart began to race.

"Yes, you can rest assured. After all, among the entire Einzbern family and the Emiya family, my favorability towards Illya is definitely the highest. After all, legal lolis are the most lovable!" Ling's seemingly unserious answer put Kiritsugu Emiya at ease. He didn't understand where this sense of security came from, but he believed that Ling was not lying to him.

"Master, please prepare a self-compulsion statement. The content can be written here on the spot." Once he made up his mind, Kiritsugu Emiya no longer hesitated. While asking Yubustakuhaid to prepare the document, he drafted the content of the document in his mind.

Yubustakuhaid did not stop them, and instructed the maid to fetch the draft of the self-compulsion certificate, silently watching Rin and Kiritsugu Emiya draft the contract.

After Ling wrote down her obligations and conditions on the self-mandatory certificate, it was checked and supplemented by Kiritsugu Emiya and Irisviel. Finally, just to be on the safe side, Ling had Shion review it again. After confirming that there were no problems, Illya signed her name first. Then Ling placed the certificate in front of Olga and said in a very natural tone, "Olga, sign it."

“Oh,” Olga took the paper and pen and was about to sign it when she suddenly stopped. “Wait, why should I sign it? Shouldn’t you be the one signing it?!”