Life Plan

Chapter 31, Listening

Liu Chichi's rideshare driver today was Yan Shaohai. As a middle-aged man nearing forty, working part-time at 11 pm was a bit long for him. His neatly parted hair was now disheveled, and his forehead was starting to get oily, causing the fallen strands to stick together.

The streets were deserted, with only fallen leaves remaining. The traffic lights changed rapidly, making traffic flow smoothly. They stopped at a red light in front of a school, a rare occurrence. Yan Shaohai looked at the dark school gate and suddenly asked, "What do your children want?"

"Huh?" Liu Chichi was replying to an email when he was suddenly asked a question, and her mind went blank.

"I have two children, both in middle school, and the distance between us seems to have grown. I'm too far removed from that age; I don't know what they want. I give them a lot of money, spend time with them on weekends, and take them on trips during holidays, but it still feels like we've drifted apart. What did you want before?"

Before?

She wanted so many things: money, freedom, relaxation, and maternal love that she could receive even without being number one in her class.

And also—"listen."

"What?"

"I say, listen. Listen to their boring lives, listen to their subconscious reactions, listen to their unspeakable desires as they grow and change, listen to their dark jealousy and disgust."

Parents are the only judges in their children's hearts. When the standards of judgment are unclear and the children are afraid to speak up, or when they cross the line of judgment in their hearts, they will hide their actions because they believe that actions that are not caught will not be judged.

That was the beginning of concealment, and being concealed is like finding hidden reefs and treacherous shoals in a relationship.

She didn't know what had happened between those two children she'd never met, but she herself had experienced the sudden surge of pride and rapidly growing desires of adolescence. If Yan Shaohai truly wanted to know the answer, then she hoped they could have the right to be heard—the right she had once longed for.

It was a rare peaceful weekend. Liu Chichi took a nap until six o'clock. When she groggily opened her eyes and saw that it was pitch black outside the window, she suddenly realized that she hadn't had time to make dinner yet.

She quickly dressed and pushed open the door, immediately smelling the rich aroma of chicken soup. It was Liu Chunhong's cooking, emphasizing the original flavor without using cooking wine, only adding a small amount of scallions and ginger slices. When the steam rose, she found the smell of chicken soup quite strong.

The expected anger didn't descend upon her, but Liu Chunhong's expression was still not good. She obediently went into the kitchen, lowered her head and apologized meekly, "I'm sorry, Mom, I was too tired from working overtime yesterday and got up late. Let me do it."

Liu Chunhong avoided her hand, ladled the noodles into a bowl, her face revealing neither joy nor anger: "I heard that a man brought you back yesterday, is that true?"

Liu Chichi knew that if she said she was a ride-hailing driver, Liu Chunhong would immediately ask her to show the order details, so she skillfully described half the truth: "He is a lawyer hired by the unit leader to handle that patient at the police station. We worked overtime together yesterday, and he gave me a ride on his way."

"Oh." Liu Chunhong's expression brightened a bit. "You must be careful about your reputation. Xiao Li is already arranging for us to meet. Don't let it affect your wedding."

"Mom, I don't want to..." Her mother's face grew increasingly pale, so she simply lowered her head and refused to look at her. "I don't want to get married so early."

"A girl's age is very important, you know," Liu Chunhong handed her a bowl of noodles. "After today, you'll be twenty-three. If you don't hurry, you'll be wasting your time."

Liu Chichi subconsciously took the bowl, and only then did she see the wide and long noodles in the bowl. She felt a moment of dizziness. How could she be twenty-three years old so suddenly?

Before her was a square television, which hadn't been turned on for many years due to signal reception problems. Liu Chichi remembered that the last animated film she watched was "Little Bull Rush Forward," in which Big Horn Bull and his friend Niu Yaya arrived in the Snow Country, where Big Horn Bull was frozen in ice, and Niu Yaya searched for a way to rescue him.

At that time, Liu Chichi thought she would see the ending soon, but in just one week, Hao Jia and the cartoon disappeared from her world. To this day, she still doesn't know where Niu Yaya went, and her courage was frozen in that year along with Big Horn Bull. Liu Chunhong often tapped her on the head and said that she was timid and cowardly.

A shadow swept past her eyes, and Liu Chichi's thoughts instantly returned to her, her mother's face rapidly enlarging in front of her.

Liu Chunhong's face had an aged look beyond her years, with wrinkles running down the middle of her nose like a heavy mountain pressing down from between her brows. Liu Chichi couldn't understand how wrinkles could grow up to the bridge of her nose, where the skin was tightly attached to the bone, so why were they wrinkled like fleeing waves?

"Chichi, you've grown up so much. In my memory, you were always so small, but you were incredibly strong. I only took two steps before you grabbed my arm and lifted yourself up. You're getting married soon, so please come back to visit me often. You're the most important person in my life."

Liu Chichi kept her head down and ate, listening to her mother constantly impart her "experienced wisdom." Her mother didn't like her biting into the longevity noodles, saying it was unlucky. She chewed until she got a little tired, and the noodles gradually faded into the taste of high-gluten flour, leaving a sticky feeling in her mouth.

Liu Chunhong spoke softly, reaching out to touch the top of her head, "When you were little, I always thought you were so talkative, but you've become much quieter now. Even after you get married, you're still my child. And since you live far away from your new family, you should talk to your mother more often."

For a moment, Liu Chichi forgot who had arranged this blind date for her. She only sensed that her mother was very reluctant to let her go, so she mustered her courage and tentatively asked, "Mom, how about I don't marry him and stay with you forever?"

"How can that be? No girl should stay single forever. If word gets out, people will say I didn't raise her properly, that there's something wrong with her and she can't get married."

"I don't mind, Mom."

"How can you be so shameless!" Liu Chunhong sat up straight abruptly, her back ramrod straight, her head slightly forward, and her whole face hardened.

"Mom, that's not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean?" Liu Chunhong slammed her hand on the table, and Liu Chichi immediately lowered her head, not daring to say another word.

"Do you think you're all grown up now that you're getting married, and that you're going to fly out of this house and cut ties with me?"

"I didn't mean that, Mom. I love you the most."

"Do you think your mother doesn't love you? What have I done that wasn't for you? All the food you've eaten and the clothes you've worn over the years, wasn't it all earned through my hard work?"

Liu Chichi listened quietly, a feeling of guilt towards her mother pressing like a dull knife on her neck. Sometimes she felt like her head would fall off at any moment, but upon closer inspection, she found only some hair had fallen out. Her hair was also a part of her, but it wasn't a serious injury.